01/04/2020

[Paul Lismore] IN LIEU OF THE MAWKISH SENTIMENTALITY IN THE ARTICLES OF ZOURLANUS DESIGNED TO SHOW HOW "CARING" THEY ARE...

I must say it was a real pleasure to read the article of Philippe Forget this morning in L'Express: it depicts the future we all face with a realism that is quite rare in our newspapers. Post-Covid-19: Un avenir bien assombri…* After a brief and succinct appraisal of various sectors of our economy, Forget comes to a conclusion that only an idiot, a zombie, or a deluded zourlanus would argue with (although all 3 often come in the same package...). He posits that " L’économie va donc très mal, d’autant qu’il faut y rajouter la litanie du déficit immense de la balance commerciale, de la dette publique qui gonfle, des marges de manœuvre budgétaires effritées, du gaspillage passé éhonté, de la productivité, et de la discipline personnelle faible, des dépenses jusqu’ici non couvertes, comme la pension de vieillesse." I suppose the above conclusion makes him an 'anti patriote' in the eyes of the arseholes who seem to have invaded the comments section of our…

P Paul Lismore
31/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] FOR THE MEN WHO LOVE TO CLAP FOR NO REASON APART FROM GIVING THEIR TONGUES A REST FROM ALL THAT LICKING....

11 people were hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was the woman known as Lady Macbeth. They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die. No one could decide which one of them should let go in order to save the others. Finally, Lady Macbeth gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and often letting men believe they have won the argument.... All of the men started clapping, and they all fell down to their death... That, my friends, is an example of how some men have been conditioned to applaud anything that comes out of Pravind's mouth, even when he often speaks through his arse. Padaleksi's clapping yesterday demonstrated how we now have a cabinet of eunuchs and maidservants only too willing to let the…

P Paul Lismore
31/03/2020

La recette d'Emmanuelle : Gâteau la Boue 100% Réconfort !

Confinement oblige, profitons de ce temps créatif pour le partager avec les plus gourmands. Ingrédients 200gr de chocolat noir 120gr de beurre 3 oeufs 100gr de sucre roux 80gr de farine Four à préchauffer à 180°C. Faire fondre le chocolat et le beurre et bien mélanger. Dans un saladier, casser les oeufs, ajouter le sucre et fouetter vivement jusqu'à ce que ce soit très très mousseux! Ajouter la farine, fouetter pour que la pâte soit bien lisse. Ajouter le mélange chocolat et beurre. On obtient une belle pâte assez liquide. Ajouter du rhum si vous en avez envie. Verser dans le moule. Et hop au four pendant 25 minutes. Démouler quand il est froid. Et plus de 800 recettes sur le blog : Emmanuelle Chroniqueuse Voyages et Culinaire France https://voyagesexperiences.blogspot.fr

E Emmanuelle
28/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] IF YOU HAVE TEARS, PREPARE TO SHED THEM FOR THE MISSIONAIRES...

The poor pets! Not only have they had to abandon their hopes and wishes of seeing their fat arses ensconced in a Business Class seat, and seen their dreams of looking important vanish faster than Ivan Collendavelloo's somnolent face from our TV screens. Not only have they lost the erections they used to have when bragging to everyone " Mo p al en mission", as if catching a flight when someone else is paying for it is something to brag about.... The poor pets have also lost their sacred per diem, that vast amount of taxpayers' money that inevitably ends up in the pockets of the arseholes on this island. B kot nou p aller dan sa pays la kot nou ban serviteurs du pays perdi zot zoli baksheesh la kumsa? I think all these missionaires should hold a demonstration in front of the National Assembly and scream "Pa tousse nou bousser manzer! Nou per diem, nou la vi sa! Ar nou non!". The problem is, they can't really threaten to go on strike, because if they do, no one will notice…

P Paul Lismore
27/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] WHY ARE THE RICH AND THE SUPER RICH IN MAURITIUS SUCH TIGHT BASTARDS?

" The miser, starving his brother's body, starves also his own soul, and at death shall creep out of his great estate of injustice, poor and naked and miserable"....Theodore Parker Mauritius: the home of very stingy rich and super rich people, which also includes many who are thinking of new ideas to make a fast buck by exploiting the mess we all find ourselves in. Many of you have seen the menu from "Paul", the business owned by Rakesh Gooljaury, the only bankrupt in the world who still receives millions of rupees from friendly bank managers as 'loans' that will never be repaid, and which will never land him in a court of law. 1 stuffed croissant with something called Fuze tea and 1 macaron: Rs 600 siouplai! As far as I am concerned, he can stuff his croissant up his arse and Fuze off with a macaron up his nostrils! Gooljaury of course has an inexhaustible supply of dilo dire oui, and our political leaders simply love to drink it: the man has politicians,…

P Paul Lismore
26/03/2020

[Denis Rajah] La recette maison d'une bonne Brioche sans oeufs

Denis Rajah est sous chef pâtissier au Lux Belle Mare. Un parcours synonyme de réussite et de mérite pour ce fils de maçon et la maman femme au foyer. 18 ans d'expérience en pâtisserie, il se distingue pour sa passion et son enthousiasme sous les ordres de plusieurs établissements 5 étoiles et chefs étoilés. Confinement oblige, les courses au supermarché relèvent de l’expédition. Il faut donc revoir quelque peu sa façon de cuisiner en faisant mieux avec moins. Et profiter de ce temps créatif pour le partager avec les plus gourmands. Vous avez envie d'une bonne Brioche mais.. plus d'œufs à la maison ? Voici une recette facile à réaliser et délicieuse. Ingrédients Farine 250g Sucre 40g Lait en poudre 40g Levure 5g Huile de coco pour parfumer ou essence vanille Eau 175g Beurre pommade 40g Sel 5g Pour la dorure 2 cuillère de lait en poudre 3 cuillères d'eau Sucre en grain ou sucre normal Etape 1 Mélangez la levure dans un peu d'eau…

D Denis Rajah
26/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] 4,5,2,14, 8, 4,4,4: THE IMPROBABLE RATE OF DAILY INCREASE OF COVID-19 THAT MAKES US UNIQUE IN THE WORLD...

Those figures are really quite incredible. Either we are a land blessed with an inordinate amount of divine generosity or the figures being given out do not reflect the truth, which means we are being lied to. They certainly do not follow the pattern of infection in the rest of the world, where a geometric sequence of increase has been in evidence in almost every country. According to the WHO, it took 67 days for Covid-19 outbreaks to infect the first 100,000 patients by March 7. The next 100,000 were infected by March 19, a mere 12 days later. By March 23rd, that number had crossed the 300,000 mark. Two days later, on March 25th, that figure had increased by another 100,000...The trend clearly is a growth pattern that follows a geometric sequence, where the previous day's cases are at least doubled on the next day. Except in Mauritius.... A daily increase of 4 in the last 4 days seems rather synchronised to me, esp as the increase doubled from 14 to 28 from 21st to 22nd…

P Paul Lismore
24/03/2020

▶️ [Denis Rajah] Recette maison de la confiture d'Ananas

Denis Rajah est sous chef pâtissier au Lux Belle Mare. Un parcours synonyme de réussite et de mérite pour ce fils de maçon et la maman femme au foyer. 18 ans d'expérience en pâtisserie, il se distingue pour sa passion et son enthousiasme sous les ordres de plusieurs établissements 5 étoiles et chefs étoilés. Confinement oblige, les courses au supermarché relèvent de l’expédition. Il faut donc revoir quelque peu sa façon de cuisiner en faisant mieux avec moins. Et profiter de ce temps créatif pour le partager avec les plus gourmands. Voici la recette simple et facile de la confiture d'ananas de Denis Rajah. Soulignons que vous pouvez remplacer l'ananas avec un autre fruit selon vos envies. A vos fourneaux ! Recette 1 kilo d'ananas 1 kilo de sucre De l'anis étoilé et les épluchures d'une pomme. La recette maison de la pomme et de l'ananas

D Denis Rajah
23/03/2020

▶️ [Denis Rajah] La recette maison de la tarte aux pommes et ananas

Denis Rajah est sous chef pâtissier au Lux Belle Mare. Un parcours synonyme de réussite et de mérite pour ce fils de maçon et la maman femme au foyer. 18 ans d'expérience en pâtisserie, il se distingue pour sa passion et son enthousiasme sous les ordres de plusieurs établissements 5 étoiles et chefs étoilés. Confinement oblige, les courses au supermarché relèvent de l’expédition. Il faut donc revoir quelque peu sa façon de cuisiner en faisant mieux avec moins. Et profiter de ce temps créatif pour le partager avec les plus gourmands. Rare point positif du confinement, on a enfin le temps de faire la cuisine. Voici la recette simple et facile de la tarte aux pommes et ananas de Denis Rajah. A vos fourneaux ! Ingrédients : 6 pommes Une pincée de cannelle 250g de sucre pour le caramel Pour le crumble 200g de farine 100g de beurre pommade 25g de sucre.

D Denis Rajah
18/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] DEFINITION OF "ANTI PATRIOTE", ACCORDING TO "LE JEUNE" PRAVIND KUMAR JUGNAUTH...

"The secret of being boring is to say everything." -Voltaire And le jeune Pravind Jugnauth has been saying everything for quite a while now...According to the 58 year old "jeune" Pravind Kumar Jugnauth, an " anti patriote" is someone who: a/ says anything against him, even when the words reflect the truth and the reality. In his mind, any comments against him are nothing but lese majeste, and the Royal Kingdom of the Jugs will simply not tolerate this.... b/ says anything against his ministers, even when the words describe their incompetence and stupidity with great accuracy. c/ does not recognise the value of the numerous 'bijou' he has built with our money and at such great expense. Even when the turf of Stade Georges V looks more suitable for the plantation of water cress than for playing football after squandering almost Rs 100 millions of our money on it, zis ban anti patriots ki pou critik sa! d/ does not recognise his incredible leadership skills, esp during the past…

P Paul Lismore
14/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] ANOTHER WORLD RANKING THAT COMPLETELY IGNORES THE REALITY IN MAURITIUS

" “People’s indifference is the best breeding ground for corruption to grow” — Delia Ferreira, chair of Transparency International. Some organisation called World Justice Project from the USA (a country where the fact that if you are born black and brought before a court of 'justice' you are very likely to be found guilty, despite the poor evidence, and sentenced to long imprisonment and even death..) has released its Rule of Law Index: as usual, Mauritius comes out smelling of roses and our wonderful judicial system has scored a very honourable and largely undeserved ranking of 38th, slightly behind Namibia and Rwanda. According to its website, " the Index relies on more than 120,000 household surveys and 3,800 legal practitioner and expert surveys to measure how the rule of law is experienced and perceived worldwide." One is bound to ask: Was any normal Mauritian canvassed for his/her opinion about this? Or, as is very likely, did it depend entirely on our learned…

P Paul Lismore
11/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] FANTASTIC SPEECH BY RAMKAUN WHICH SHOWS HOW WELL EDUCATED LEPEP ADMIRAB REALLY IS...

Monsieur le President, Lannee derniere, ze fi mon discours en Anglais et beaucoup dimounes m'ont felicite parskil navai zamai entendu quelcun parle langlais kom sa. Cette foi si, ze ve parler en Francais pour montrer lepep que je suis bilingue et pa un bilinbi. Oui, Monsieur le President, beaucoup de zan ignorants me demande "Ramkaun", pour dire kil ne savent pa quel Ram ze suis. Eh bien, aller demander Navin Chandra Ramgoolam, ki ze battu net en 2014! Sitan je l'ai donner un batter kondirer kil a du prandre refuge a Montagne Blanche! Kom on dit, rira bien ki rira le dernier, et moi ze ri de 2 koter de mes zou! Monsieur le President, tou mes amis dan l'assenblee national ont mentionne L'Honorable Pravin Kumar Jugnauth kom un saint, un geant intellectuel et un politicien extreman malin, et pa le ti cretin que boukou lappel. Ze ve fer mieux que sa! Monsieur le President, keske le 25 Decembre signifi pou le monde? La naissance de Zezi, un gran homme kon venere . Laisser moi…

P Paul Lismore
09/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] DEATH OF A GENTLEMAN AND ONE OF OUR VERY FEW REAL JOURNALISTS...

Gerard Cateaux is no more, and friends and strangers mourn his passing away. He was a real giant in a field of Lilliputians in our "free and independent" press. One can always judge someone simply by looking at the company he keeps and his sense of loyalty to his friends. When the cruel storm created by this government over BAI/Bramer was raging at its worst, very few people sympathised with Dawood Rawat or even made any attempt to understand the real issues: that this was the bare faced theft of all the assets of one man and giving them away to friends and various soucerres at bargain basement prices. And so many in Lepep Kouyon were quick to repeat the Ponzi nonsense being peddled by the gang of thieves in government, and their little pions in our newspapers. Gerard Cateaux never once doubted his friend Dawood Rawat and made his views known in public. Unlike so many zourlanus and mercenary bastards masquerading as 'free and independent' writers....Anyone looking at the facts…

P Paul Lismore
08/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] OUR ETAT DE DROIT...WHERE ANYTHING GOES, AND DECREPIT LAWS AND USELESS SYSTEMS ALLOW PEOPLE TO DO WHAT THEY WANT

Normal service has been interrupted for one day, and women are expected to celebrate today as the day when their daily plight is made public, and male leaders will tell us how disgusting all this domestic violence is, and "mo pa pou tolere sa!". Tomorrow, normal service will be resumed, and many women will once again serve as punch bags for despicable little bastards who feel they are 'real men' only if they can totally dominate the one they pledged to love forever not so long ago. Yes, we have these things called 'protection orders', which are about as much use as an empty roll of toilet paper staring at you before you have finished wiping yourself. If you are a battered woman and you have had enough of the psychopath making your life a misery, go to a police station where every effort will be made to stop you from applying for one. If you still apply for one, wait for the holier than thou magistrate to find some time in her /his busy schedule, only to tell you to come back at a…

P Paul Lismore
07/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] WHY IS THE OWNER'S NAME BEING HIDDEN FROM US?

Our free and independent press...where zourlanus can immediately mention the names of criminals with no backing, but find it impossible to know the name of the owner of that death trap where 3 people died recently. It happens all the time: if you are ugly and you are someone who loves to mug people or break into their houses and steal their assets, you are guaranteed a front page picture in our wonderful newspapers. Garanti sa! But if you know someone who knows someone else, the right words will be said and abracadabra! Our zourlanus will suffer complete amnesia over the name of the miscreant.The way the deaths of those 3 poor individuals in the fire at Lab 51 has been covered is a prime example of this incredible insomnia: We know all about the victims (including a quite scandalous coverage by le defi where the corpses were filmed being taken from the ambulances to the morgue, as if we really wanted to see that...) of the fire, but we know sweet fuck all about the owner of the…

P Paul Lismore
06/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] AT LAST! REAL FACTS AND FIGURES FROM A GENUINE ECONOMIST....

You really do not have to be an Einstein, an expert mathematician, or that thing called an "Economist" to recognise this ineluctable, unarguable fact: that our economy is in a real mess and is bound to get even worse than it already is with the weird combination of hysteria and real concern over the impact of Coronavirus on world trade. We seem to have this terrible obsession with the figure 4%, the growth rate that we have been aiming at for many years and missed more often than not. We now have politicians telling us that Coronavirus will bring about a decrease in our economic growth of between 0.1 and 0.3 %. If only that was true and reflected the terrible reality that we will be facing soon.... Let me explain: We import far, far more than we export and it is a weird happenstance that the countries we import the most from are the ones who import the least from us, for example, China, India, and the countries we import our oil from to the tune of tens of billions of rupees every…

P Paul Lismore
03/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] WHY DO ZOURLANUS BEHAVE LIKE FLIES ON A TURD WITH ALL SOCIO CULTURAL IDIOTS?

Another week, another big splash and prime coverage of an idiot who claims to be God's representative on earth, but whose demeanour of hatred and fanaticism suggests a greater affinity with Satan than with the Almighty. This time, it was L'Express and that inhabitant of the sewers known as Somdutt Dulthumum, an individual whose whole existence is predicated on whose political arsehole he is currently licking. Time was when Navin Ramgoolam was his God, but that was when the latter had power and was Prime Minister. Since 2014, it is Pravin Jugnauth's nether regions which fascinates the Dulthaidiot to such an extent that shops have now run out of the lurid curtains he, and other oiks like him, loves to drape over the PM's shoulders at every possible opportunity. It would be absolutely pointless to ask whether these so called socio cultural leaders have any sense of shame, pride, or self respect: the answer is obvious. If your whole life is spent sniffing the dirty pants of…

P Paul Lismore
01/03/2020

[Paul Lismore] BLIER LA CHINE! NOU CORONAVIRUS LA DEPI 2014 ET P POURRI SA PAYS LA!

Yes, mauriciens, mauriciennes, frer, ser, kouma ban politiciens kontan apel nou zis avan ki zot bour nou san oken lubrication. Nou ena ene virus ki p manz leker sa pays avek so larzan mal gagner et sa kantite mizer li p kreer dan boukou lakaz. Kot passer dan sa ggt pays la, ena soi ene bookmaker, ou marsan lottri avek long la queue dimounes ki zamai pou gagne ene ferfoute, casinos, machines pou zouer kot garanti zot pitaye pou rant dan ene trou bien fond....ena apel sa ene trou Lee Kee. Et boukou fami p detruire akoz nou in vine ene nation zougadere avek full complicite et enkourazman ene gouvernman voyou et voleur. Aster, zot p fer lisien vey saucisses, kouma zot abitier dire. CoronaLeeShim in rant dan MTC kom membre fondateur, malgre ki li meme chef bookmaker and therefore parmi sa ban dimounes ki par mazik fer bouriks gagne lecourse et favori manz lerbe dan Champs de Mars kan li bizin galouper. Et boukou dimounes mizer, boukou dimounes kouyon in perdi tou kan zot koir ki…

P Paul Lismore
29/02/2020

[Paul Lismore] PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY...MO ENE DIMOUNE BIEN SOUCERRE, SORRY MIZER MOI....

Ici, zot President ki bien kontan zot, sirtou sak moi kan zot donne moi ene cheque plis ki Rs360,000 roupies et zot dire moi pa paye meme ene sou tax lor sa. Bon Dier pou beni zot, et akoz sa mo in al fer ene ti sezour dan Bharat Mata pou dire Bon Dier beni zot...aprer ki, bien sure et evidaman, li bien beni moi avek enkor zot pitaye, zot limousine, zot sofer, zot gablous, zot gran sato, zot mari zoli zardin, zot pension 3/4, et tou zafer gratis ki zot in donne moi ziska mo mort. Meme aprer mo al fertilise la terre dan cimetiere, zot sitan bon ki mo fam pou kontinier tap plin ar zot ziska ki li oussi li mort. Sa ki apel ene lepep admirab sa, malgre ki ban anti patriotes dire ki zot ene lepep extra kouyon, et ki en place ene la cervelle, zot ena boulette poisson dan la tete... Mo in al L'Inde parski mo ti bien bizin remercier Bon Dier pou sa jackpot ki zot in donne moi. Mo pa bizin Lee Shim so kass lottri moi! Mo pran li direk avek zot parski sitan zot kontan moi, sak moi sa gro…

P Paul Lismore
28/02/2020

[Paul Lismore] THE NEW HUB THAT WILL BRING IMMENSE PROSPERITY TO THIS ISLAND...

Yes, folks. Forget tourism, textiles, fishing, offshore, IT, and all the other hubs that have failed to deliver their rather grandiose promises. Make way for the new hub that will soon increase our GDP to an imaginably high level and which will not involve any foreign investment as we already have all the natural talent that we need here in Mauritius. I am talking about the welding hub, where "mett ene lake ferblanc" seems to be all the rage these days. From police officers arresting innocent people and sticking fake charges on them, as we saw with the long queue of people involved with Bramer/Bramer traipsing to courts for over 2 years on charges which welders around the world are now using as models for their lake ferblanc; from the pik latrine known as the MBC and their numerous lake ferblanc on Navin Ramgoolam to their garlands of shiny steel around Pravin Jugnauth's neck; from Rakesh Gooljaury, the perfect welder, leaving many lake ferblanc with many banks and walking away with…

P Paul Lismore
27/02/2020

[Paul Lismore] DO CRIMINALS HAVE IDENTIFYING FEATURES THAT SEPARATE THEM FROM NON CRIMINALS?

The so called father of criminology, Cesare Lombroso, opined in the 1870s that many individuals have an innate criminality that is so difficult for them to resist that committing crimes becomes second nature to them. Lombroso made the amalgam between phrenology and physiognomy, and jumped to a conclusion that had some obvious racist overtones: that a person's personality and behaviour is based on his skull and facial features. He described rapists as people with "jug ears, sparkling eyes. swollen lips and eyelids, and distorted or squashed noses". As I said, Lombroso's theories do have racist connotations and were often used by racists for their own nasty purposes. But you know how sometimes something happens and you immediately think back on theories that are no longer 'fashionable' and, much against your better judgement, you say to yourself, "Perhaps he did have a point"? I experienced this when I saw the photos of the two bastards involved in the rape of a 69 year old…

P Paul Lismore
24/02/2020

[Paul Lismore] HOW TO BECOME THE PERFECT SPEAKER FOR OUR NATIONAL ASSEMBLY

1/ Watch some past televised programmes covering proceedings in the National Assembly, esp those chaired by Speaker Maya Hanoomanjee. 2/ Learn by rote the following expressions, which she was very fond of: This is my ruling. My ruling is not to be questioned! I am on my feet. Withdraw unconditionally (coitus interruptus a la mauricienne...) 3/ If "Withdraw unconditionally" fails and you are not sure which word was "unparliamentary" or you cannot remember, then simply say, as Fuck Here did today, " Withdraw whatever word you said!" That way, you have got the bastard, as he too will be confused which word he used was unparliamentary.... 4/ The most important rule, which Maya followed scrupulously, is this: If a ti cretin stands up and asks the Speaker to order someone to "Withdraw" a word, then the Speaker will immediately stand up and order the "anti patriote" to "Withdraw"....If the ti cretin asks the…

P Paul Lismore
21/02/2020

[Paul Lismore] Pravind Jugnauth: «Je suis révolté quand je vois des actes barbares contre les femmes»

Moi Premier Ministre, mo sitan en koler ki mo revolte! Evidaman, mo bizin exprime mo sentiman parski kom Premier Ministre, mo pa kapav fer plis ki sa. 6 ans mo parti o pouvoir et guet tou sa facilite ki nou in meter pou fer ban fam gagne zot "Protection Order". Ene mari gran zafer sa, evidaman! Bien sure, si ban zom sovaz pa obeir sa protection order la, et mo koner ki boukou pisse lor sa, including gablous et mazistras, ki mo kapav fer? Mo zis ene Premier Ministre moi, et mo kontan montrer zot kouma mo kontan fer la priere, belo roti, et passe ene semaine entier a Grand Bassin. Mo ena full confiance ki Bon Dier pou roule nou pays bien pendan mo labsans.....Et kan ene sovaz in touy so fam, mo meme premier pou donne mo sinpati... Dimoune tro plaigner, zot nek koz crimes kouma dire ena crimes partou dan sa zoli pays la. Dan mo limousine, mo pa truv oken crime, mo truv tou dimoune paret bien satisfe ar zot la vi. Mo al lakaz, tou mo garde kor dire moi ki tou korek, pena crime, nou viv…

P Paul Lismore
20/02/2020

[Paul Lismore] HEADS THEY WIN, TAILS WE LOSE...

We live in a dictatorship masquerading as a democracy: it does not matter which party wins the elections every five years, it does not matter how many times these bozos tell us " Ar nou non!" or " Mo la main, mo fesse, tou prop", or the lament of the broken down "tempo", "Ar moi, zot dal pa pou cuit!".....the end result will still be the same: the leader of the party with the most seats will have all the powers of a dictator for the next five years. He can hire and fire at will; people supposedly holding constitutional posts which should guarantee their independence end up being his lapdogs, as exemplified by the police commissioner, the electoral commissioner, etc. And our home grown dictator rapidly believes that the delusion suffered by the vast majority of our politicians is indeed reality: that larzan taxpayers vreman pou mari so mama sa! So, our darling PM, whether he be the Jugs, Ramgoolam, or Berenger, will celebrate his victory with this first priority of all priorities: …

P Paul Lismore